


Problematic Pregnacies

by Doggydeath



Series: Of Guns and Giggles [3]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Hancock is such an enabler, High Realiziations, M/M, Mile High Club, Poor MacCready
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 11:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21270218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doggydeath/pseuds/Doggydeath
Summary: When Vlad gets high with Hancock, he comes to a startling realization. Its up to MacCready to help him out.XD





	Problematic Pregnacies

**Author's Note:**

> This is for the Basement Critter! :D I hope you enjoy it and for everybody else please leave me kudos and a comment to help me motivate!

As it turns out, MacCready wasn’t sure what he was looking at. Sure, he and Vlad had made a pit stop at Goodneighbor, to sleep and relax for a day before no doubt running across the commonwealth all over again. So when they split up with Mac heading to the Third Rail and Vlad heading to the Mayor’s House for a visit, he was planning to get some down time. That was the plan anyway.  


So when Farenheit came down with the look of absolute exasperation, her arms crossed as a thin eyebrow raised he knew something happened. What he didn’t expect was to find Hancock snickering from behind his desk while Vlad had his face down groaning on the nearby couch. Spotting MacCready in the doorway, Hancock waved him in, mischief clear in those black eyes.

“Heyya MacCready. Come to join the party?” Hancock said jerking his head towards the pile of both used and unused chems. Mac chuckled as he waved it off.

“Nah, I heard you call for a handsome mercenary with a big gun.” MacCready said with a cheeky smile. Hancock’s grin only grew as he leaned back in his chair and snickered. “So, what’s happening?”

“Well, our main man over here seems to be having a bit of a bad high.” MacCready immediately lost his smile, eyes shooting to the still groaning man who was now mumbling into the ragged pillow he was face down in. “Nothing really harmful but… well I thought you ought to see this.”

“See…?” It was then that Vlad slowly raised his head and peered blearily at the newly entered man. Seeing him through bloodshot vision, Vlad made a whinny noise and a meek grab towards Mac. Immediately Mac went over to him, trying not to laugh when his hand was grabbed gently in seconds. “What’s going on big man?”

“It happened so fast.” Vlad groaned, pulling heavily on the arm he’d stolen until Mac was forced to kneel beside the couch. He heard Hancock wheeze as he tried to hold back another round of cackles, but MacCready did what he could to ignore it. His eyes watched as Vlad dug his face into the couch again, muffling heavily as the large man went on. “I just… one puff and I just knew. I can’t do it. I’m just… not ready.”

“What happened?” 

“You’ll be disappointed.” Vlad whined in misery. “I’m such a bad man…”  
”You’re not a bad man and I won’t be disappointed.” with the strange amount of patience he held only for his boss, MacCready reached over with his free hand and gently began to pat the others wide back. 

“You promise?” Childish and meek, Mac did his best to keep a straight face as hazy blue eyes stared up at him unsure. It was hard as hell but apparently to the mile high club, it worked. Seeing nothing but trust in that doped face, the mercenary felt his heart warm a bit.

“Yeah, I promise. Now, what happened?” MacCready cooed earning a snuffle from the behemoth. “Vlad?”

“Don’t freak out.” Vlad whispered low, glancing back at Farenheit for a long moment before leaning closer to MacCready’s ear. His hand squeezed just a bit tighter as he peered dead into the others eye. “I think I’m pregnant.”

Okay, he had to count to three to keep himself from pissing himself laughing, his face tightening in a grimace as he fought to keep a straight face. Mistaking the look for one of disgust, Vlad wailed and threw his head back in the pillow.

“No no! Not disappointed!” Mac quickly shushed the sniffling man as across the room Hancock fell from his chair howling. Keeping a straight face as he tried comforting the distraught man was hard but he did his best. A bit of coaxing and both Hancock and Vlad and quieted down. “Just… how did you get pregnant? With who?”

“...Member when we were goin’ looking for Shaun?” Vlad sniffled, peering up at him with watery eyes. “How we found out where fuckbucket was hiding?”

“...Yeah, when you and Nick went to Goodneighbor and left me in Sanctuary?” Mac was still a bit sour on that one. It must have showed because Vlad promptly looked guiltier which immediately made the merc pick up his tone. “What of it?”

“Well, after we killed the mother fucker… we realized we needed brain.” 

“Okay….?”

“But the brain was bad ‘cause we couldn’t walk too fast and its a brain.” Vlad scrunched his nose up. “I should’ve used an ice cream scoop. Less goopy on my hands.”

“....A sharp ice cream scoop.” Mac agreed, making a side note to ask later about what the hell that was about. “Alright so you had brain?”

“Yeah, and see it had a piece of hardware in it. Nick could hook into it, because it was a synthy part but he couldn’t push past it. Like he got cock blocked by an angry piece of coding.” Vlad’s tone turn grave while Mac tried not to get a mental image. “So, we were like…. Oh, let me and Nick hook up together in the brain machine! So we went in the brain machine, and went through dick wads life. Sad but he still a dick.” A point of firm clarity.

“...What?”

“They went to the memory den, took a piece of somebody’s brain and I lost it from there;” Fahrenheit provided dryly earning an ‘ah’ from Mac. 

“Then we left and Nick wasn’t Nicky for a second. It was Douche. Sounded like him, talked like him. I didn’t like it.” Vlad continued on with a huff. “Then he snapped out of it and he's a jolly old Nicky again.”

“So how does that make you pregnant?” Mac asked curiously. The look of exasperation he got was a bit of a sting. 

“Me ‘n Nicky mind melded! Since then I got tummy aches, bad moods and my back hurts!” Vlad whinned. “I eat more than ever and look! My pecs are getting big! I’m getting boobs!” with that he rolled onto his stomach and slapped MacCready’s still prisoner hand to one of the well defined pecs in horror. “See? Fattening up for a sucker! I can’t have a baby! I still gotta get my other one back! I’m not a good mama!”

“Look Boss, I’m sure you’re not pregnant.” Mac tried to reason. “I mean, you get stomach aches when you eat too much, you eat like you always have and your aching back is because you carry so much shi- er, crap in that bag of yours. Bad moods is probably dealing with Preston all day.” 

“You’re saying that to make me stop being upset!” Vlad gasped, looking entirely betrayed much to Hancock’s great amusement. “I won’t be subdued by your cheap ass kissing!”

“Don’t worry brother.” Hancock mused, turning all eyes to him as he began picking through his own chems. He glanced over at Mac, winking before making eye contact with Vlad again. “I’m sure Nickie used protection during your mind mashing. He’s a responsible sort.”

“...You think?” Vlad asked anxiously.

“I’m sure.” was the raspy promise. “You can trust old Hancock.”

That seemed to settle the man back into quiet lull, barely noticing the thin fingers gently brushing his knuckles or the sharp hiss of another pass of Jet slipping past withered lips. It was quiet save a ticking of a clock or the amused chuckles of the mayor, then the moment ended. 

Vlad shot up as he stared at the room in horror.

“Oh god. What if it’s Kellogs?”


End file.
